you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
