We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
