They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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