Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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