Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
