jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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