i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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