Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
