I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
