Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
