I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
