we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
