his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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