ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Just high enough for therapy.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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