i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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