yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Just invented taco cereal.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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