hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
