shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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