we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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