ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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