We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
this will be a night to untag.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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