hell yes lets make some ravioli
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
