she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
