Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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