it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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