I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
