forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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