AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
