You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Randomize
