he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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