youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
