I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
