Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
