I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
