How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
