okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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