I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
