Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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