I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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