Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
