guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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