Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
