There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
