There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
