The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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