in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Randomize
