smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
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