i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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