people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
