biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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