lets start a swedish sibling band together
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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