so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
